Tuesday, February 15, 2005
Reasons

These are some of the reasons why I love Vanessa. These arent all of them and they arent in any order.

Shes beautiful
Shes funny
Shes smart
Shes talented
Shes wonderful
Shes sexy
Shes loving
Shes caring
Shes loyal
Shes trustworthy
She always forgives me when I screw up(which is a lot)
Her eyes
Her hair
Her body
Her mind
Her smile
Her soul

I cant live without her. I will always feel bad about everytime I made her mad, upset her, or ruined something. I dont expect her to forgive me for everything but I'm still going to try to make it all up to her. She deserves it. It makes me feel horrible to know what I've done to her. I love you Vanessa. I love you with every inch of my heart and soul. I never meant to hurt you baby. You dont have to forgive me but I'm sorry. I will be sorry and I'll apologize for the rest of my life. I love you honey.

Posted at 06:48 pm by Nowhereman5691
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Fate..what a fucking bitch!

NO MATTER  WHAT THE FUCK I TRY TO DO FATE FUCKS IT UP! I try to do something good or nice and it gets fucked up! Its like fate is trying to split me and nessa up! WELL ITS NOT GOING TO HAPPEN! WE NEVER GET A FUCKING BREAK! All I wanted was for nessa to get her present today. Is that too much to ask? I get in the car and my mom says it wont be there til tomorrow. When she sent it they said TUESDAY! Have I been a bad person? Do I ask for too much? ALL I WANT IS TO MAKE VANESSA HAPPY AND GIVE HER WHAT SHE DESERVES! BUT HERE COMES FATE EVERYTIME TO FUCK IT UP! I am really sick and tired of this shit. If you think its hard on me then ask vanessa how hard it is on her. I am so sorry sweetie. I love you with all my heart and soul and one day I will make everything up to you. I promise.

Posted at 05:32 pm by Nowhereman5691
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Whats wrong with me?

Well since theres something wrong with livejournal.com I'll post this one here.

Whats wrong with me? Its like I am in a creative rut. Creative constipation if you will. Its like I just cant do it. I try but it doesnt work. I was doing so well and then this happens. I love writing. I am so glad Vanessa got me into it, but right now I cant do it! The only thing I can write is stuff for school. When it comes to something creative I just cant do it. Songs, stories, Little Child, it doesnt matter. If it requires something creative and special,right now, its impossible for me to do. I wish I knew how to end this. I really dont want to dissapoint Nessa but I cant help it. The last chapter I wrote,despite the troubles I did have, I loved it! I actually thought the way I described John's darker side was brilliant! But what I gave butterfly of my latest chapter I think sucks...well okay with the exception of the whole lie john made to the cops. The rest is pure crap. I'm really afraid of ruining the book. Its not just the book. I was also doing well with writing songs and my own short stories but I cant even do that now. Its like if I have the pieces of a puzzle handed to me I can do it but I cant make a puzzle of my own.

Posted at 04:42 pm by Nowhereman5691
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Monday, March 22, 2004
I Believe In A Thing Called Love

I Believe In A Thing Called Love
by The Darkness

Can't explain all the feelings that you're making me feel

My heart's in overdrive and you're behind the steering wheel

Touching you, touching me

Touching you, God you're touching me

I believe in a thing called love

Just listen to the rhythm of my heart

There's a chance we could make it now

We'll be rocking 'til the sun goes down

I believe in a thing called love

Ooh!

I wanna kiss you every minute, every hour, every day

You got me in a spin but everything is A.OK!

Touching you, touching me

Touching you, God you're touching me

I believe in a thing called love

Just listen to the rhythm of my hart

There's a chance we could make it now

We'll be rocking 'til the sun goes down

I believe in a thing called love

Ooh! Guitar!

Touching you, touching me

Touching you, God you're touching me

I believe in a thing called love

Just listen to the rhythm of my hart

There's a chance we could make it now

We'll be rocking 'til the sun goes down

I believe in a thing called love

Ooh!



Okay so some of the lyrics might not seem appropriate for right now but oh well. Lenn and I talked on the phone pretty much all day yesterday. That was the best time I've ever had. God I love her so much. She absolutley perfect. I would do anything for her...I bet Im probably boring you...Even though Lenn is usually the only person who reads my blog. Oh yeah if you've never heard that song download it or by the CD now! The Darkness is a pretty good band. Okay so by todays standards they are a very good band. Its good to see actually musicians and songwriters appear every once in a while. I love you so much Lenn.


Posted at 07:30 pm by Nowhereman5691
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Saturday, March 13, 2004
What is life?

What Is Life

(Harrison)

What I feel - I can't say-
But my love is there for you any time
of day
But if it's not love - That you need-
Then I'll try my best to make everything
succeed

(and tell me) What is my life
without your love? -and tell me, who am I
without you, by my side?

What I Know I can do; if I give my love
to everyone like you-
But if it's not love that you need; then I'll
Try my best to make everything succeed

(and tell me) What is my life
without your love? -and tell me, who am I
without you, by my side?


Posted at 06:11 am by Nowhereman5691
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Lost Weekend

I now declare this my "Lost Weekend" For anyone who doesnt know what the original "Lost Weekend" was here it is. It was a period of about 18 months when John Lennon and Yoko Ono broke up. John moved to LA and went on an 18 month drinkin and drug binge. Now this is how it relates to me...Last night I said something really mean to Lenn. I was just joking around and I didnt know it would hurt her. Now I feel like the biggest asshole and the worst boyfriend in the world. She's really mad at me and I wouldn't be surprised it this would be the end of us...I really fucked up. Ive just taken the best thing thats ever happened to me and I fucked it up so bad. The only other time I felt this bad was when my nana died. The only difference betweent that and this is that I havent cried...yet. Lenn Im begging you to forgive me. I never meant to hurt you and to know that I did is killing me. Its the worst feeling in the world to know that you're mad at me. Please Lenn if you forgive me I'll be a better boyfriend. I promise to never hurt you again. I love you.


Posted at 05:45 am by Nowhereman5691
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Thursday, March 04, 2004
I just dont know.

I chose this song because of somethings in it(dont worry Lenn Im not leaving you or anything bad)
The Last Time (Jagger/Richards)


Well, I told you once and I told you twice,
But ya never listen to my advice
You don't try very hard to please me,
With what you know it should be easy

Well, this could be the last time
This could be the last time
Maybe the last time,
I don't know. Oh no. Oh no

Well, I'm sorry girl but I can't stay
Feelin' like I do today
It's too much pain and too much sorrow,
Guess I'll feel same tomorrow

Well, this could be the last time
This could be [etc...]

Well, told you once and I told you twice,
That someone have to pay the price
But here's a chance to change your mind,
'Cuz I'll be gone a long, long time

Well, this could be the last time
This could be [etc...]

Now Im gonna pick out some things...
Well, I told you once and I told you twice,
But ya never listen to my advice- Ive told you so many times how beautiful and perfect you are Lenn but you never seem to listen to me. Also Ive told you so many times you need to get better.

Well, I'm sorry girl but I can't stay
Feelin' like I do today
It's too much pain and too much sorrow,
Guess I'll feel same tomorrow- Seeing you like this and hearing the thing you're doing is really hurting me. Im very worried about you Lenn.

Well, told you once and I told you twice,
That someone have to pay the price
But here's a chance to change your mind- Once again Ive told you many times. If you dont get help you might end up like Cyn. You can do this. I know you can.

Please Lenn you need to get better. You were doing so well and I was very proud of you(I still am). You cant let stuff or what other people might think get to you. You are pretty. You're more than pretty. You're beautiful. I'll do anything to help you. I dont care what. Even if I would have to sacrifice my own happiness and health I'll help you. I'll do anything in my power and more to get you better. I love you Lenn.


Posted at 04:32 pm by Nowhereman5691
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Tuesday, January 20, 2004
Im actually writing another entry!

This probably wont be very long. I dont have much to say but since I havent had a new entry in months I figured I'd atleast put something. Okay lets see...Oh Ive been thinking about Lenn a ton. This summer is just too far away. Yeah if you cant already tell Im no a very good writer. And by you I mean Lenn I think shes the only one who reads this. Well I guess thats it.

Posted at 07:23 pm by Nowhereman5691
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Thursday, December 04, 2003
Long haired hippy

So what if I am? Sure I love the 60's but I dont do drugs. I decided a little while back to let my hair grow long(not very long)and my mom hates the idea of me with long hair. She said shes getting me an appointment get it cut some. I dont see why its a big deal to her. After my mom and dad got married my dad let his hair grow long again and mine isnt going to be that long. Okay new subject. Since Lenn was talking about my present Im gonna talk about hers. Man is she gonna have a psychedelic Christmas. I couldnt get one of the things I wanted to get her so Im adding something of mine I think she'll love. Lenn lets just say you'll get a piece of my coll stuff that made you jealous. No its not my copy of the 2000 remastered LP of Imagine but its on the same lines. I think its pretty rare. I only saw one when we went to some record stores the last time I was in NYC. Oh and I hope the shirt fits cause it seems pretty small but if it do I owe you one. DONT SAY NO YOU DONT OR ANYTHING LIKE THAT!!! If it doesnt fit you're getting another one but it might not be until next summer.....*trails off thinking about Lenn in the stuff shes gonna buy from Victorias Secret*.......*still thinking and starts to drool*.....................HUH!? what? Guess I was distracted. Oh well. I LOVE YOU LENN!

Posted at 07:05 pm by Nowhereman5691
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Monday, December 01, 2003
I hate weekdays

Yep I hate weekdays...well just during school because Lenn and I cant talk. We got to talk almost all last week and this is the first day we cant and Im depressed. We even started to talk on the phone. It was funny the one time her family invaded her room while we were talking. I could hear her and her sisters yelling. SEE VANESSA I TOLD YOU IT WAS FUNNY!!!! Oh yeah my dad told me last night that he wants to get rid of our house phone because no one really uses it but since Lennand I started talking on it....I GET A CELL PHONE!!!! Now I can bug her constantly. She'll be the only one with the number because all my friends are assholes and they are very annoying. Well I think thats it. I LOVE YOU LENN!!!!!!!!!!!

Posted at 07:42 am by Nowhereman5691
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